Every Breath After (Lost Boys Book 3): Part I

If all you can do is crawl, start crawling. —Rumi Not when it hits me-really hits me—that this is all I'll ever have of him. That this is the only way I can watch him, with my heart cracked open, and him no more the wiser to it. Because his heart's too busy beating for someone else, so loud it drowns out anyone else's. Drowns out mine. In a rhythm that was never meant for me. It took me two weeks to post my review for this book. @between_fiction_covers got me hooked on @authorjessiewalker's books and I knew this one would absolutely destroy me. Mason and Jeremy's story is simply devastating. The pining, the trauma, the realization of what they are to each other, and then the perfect cliffhanger ending... I read to escape, to feel, to play make believe. Every book of hers has hit so hard that I truly think about her characters every day. EBA is no exception. It's not a standalone, you'll want to read the prior books in the series but it's woven in so well. Seeing the other characters as kids, as adults, from other perspectives when you know what was going on behind closed doors was amazingly well done. I loved reading Phoebe's backstory and Mason's love for her. I got to see more of Shawn, and my Will and Way again do. Every line, every emotion, every heartbreak is so perfectly written to bring the reader into their world, I don't think I'll ever get over them. I'm not even bothering to put in a blurb here, bc no matter what I write, it won't do the characters justice.…

This book. Do I have emotions left? No I do not. My tear ducts are broken and my heart would like to know when I'll stop hurting my own feelings. The answer: NOT TODAY. I think the best way to describe this experience is like picturing the Shilohverse as a series of snapshots. During Will and Way, your viewfinder was zoomed in with them as your concentrated focus. You got glimpses of another lifetime but it was in support of their story. 𝑅𝑒𝓌𝒾𝓃𝒹. Little Bird Lost pulls back the timeline and not only gives you Izzy but teaches you about perspective - that it’s not always black and white. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝑅𝑒𝓌𝒾𝓃𝒹. 𝒫𝒶𝓃 𝑜𝓊𝓉. Every Breath After is like hitting rewind again and attaching the wide angle lens…then watching the world explode. All of that history in Will and Way...all of those moments you thought were there to support their story…the perspective was off and everything you thought you understood and started to heal from? You don't. And you’re not. This is one of the most wildly satisfying books I've ever read - while simultaneously being one of the most devastating. It deepens your understanding of every interaction, and every character that we’ve met up to this point. It hurts but it’s beautiful - and god, can I just get some bubble wrap for Jeremy and hug Mason for the rest of his life. Jeremy is…something else. I love them all but his character is so special to me; I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted to protect a…

So… I want to write so much, but I don’t really know where to start. And I’m really not sure whether I should write something. In short, it will be 100% chaotic. There may be minor spoilers if you decide to read this. I just have so many different feelings inside after reading EBA. Good and bad. I haven’t read the LBL book (maybe I’ll do it now 🤷‍♀️), but from the reviews of others I realized that this is Izzy’s book and maybe the fact that I haven’t read it makes me, in the eyes of some others, a person who cannot speak out, oh well 🤷‍♀️ Just like with Izzy in this book, we will always be the villains in someone's eyes. In this case, for me she is the villain. Not in the literal sense of the word, but still. And not only her. Jeremy's parents are also in this can of worms and sometimes Mason is too. Jeremy: Family. God they really love Jeremy. There is no doubt about it, but loving someone does not mean knowing that person. They don’t know him, they don’t understand him, and unfortunately, in my opinion, they don’t try to understand him as much as they should. All three of them did so many wrong things to Jeremy. Starting from childhood to growing up. There was so much neglect, so much and it just broke my heart. I actually cried at these moments. Did I want Izzy to go through what she went through? My answer is a resounding NO. I would never wish this on anyone, living person or fictional one. But then this story wouldn’t exist, and I’m sure that in her…

*I was provided an arc of this to read, but it is my honest review* If you've read the WAIL books (and you absolutely should before hopping into EBA)(seriously, as a friend, do not deprive yourself), you know how much this book means. We've seen Mason and Jeremy dance painfully around each other for so long now, and we finally get to see what was going on behind the scenes. And it's even more painful than I could've imagined. Part 1 books for JW are always tomes of pain, and this one is no different. This is the rain before the reluctant and then ever-so-bright sunshine, and I won't lie, there weren't many happy moments. But the angst and grief and whywhywhy is so palpable and it's there for a reason. I don't think anyone would've done better in their position. Where There's a Will hurt, and this one hurts worse. But I know they will get to that same happy, beautiful place in the end. Part 2 is gonna wrap you up in a blanket and hush you while you cry, but in the meantime invest in some tissues and an emotional support teddy bear because it's a journey. Another thing I loved about part 1: it made me love Will and Way so much more, and I didn't know that was possible. There was something so heart-cracking about seeing Way when he was growing up, knowing context you'll only know if you've read the other books, and then seeing what his story looked like on the outside. And of course as I said, this book does the same thing for Mason and Jeremy. Every moment from the other…

I haven’t read the other books since I usually browse what’s new out and if said if can be read as a stand alone and now I regret it. It really hurt to read this book. Seeing the suffering of Jeremy hurt to read and also dissecting his mind. If you haven’t read the previous books and as your reading clearly into it you can’t help but really hate mason. I mean I was like why Jeremy why do you love him? You can be with anyone other than him. And it’s even more taboo that mason was with his twin sister for years. What really destroyed me was reading that Izzy was the love of Masons life while Mason was the love of Jeremy’s. I felt like most of the book you read more of how mason had always taken advantage of his friendship with Jeremy for granted. You get to read the raw hurt and pain in the book. All these characters are so well developed that you love all of them. I feel like these characters can actually be real life characters and not the nonsense more authors write. I can tell each book takes at least half a year to write and publish and I completely understand why. It’s so detailed and well thought out and each situation can really be interpreted in real life. This whole series literally revolved around Izzy disappearing. Even as taboo as this couple maybe I wasn’t sold on the beginning but as you read you can relate it to real life that not everything is happy and sweet and not everything is perfect. You don’t get to fall in love with the first person you find. You…